Three Card Monte
by TheXGrayXLady
Summary: Temporal shenanigans lead to a small time grifter meeting, and falling in love with, a woman lost in time and space. Years later, Cyrus is a changed man, or more fittingly, a changed genie, but when Alice finds his bottle, she wants nothing to do with him or his schemes. Yet when she sends him away, she has no idea about the sorcerer who wishes to be the new master of the lamp.
1. Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

**Notes:** This started out as a simple Tumblr prompt: Alice and Cyrus meet before he was a genie. I'm not even remotely sorry, this is absolute gold to me. This fic's probably going to have shorter chapters and a more sporadic update schedule. As if anything I write doesn't have a sporadic update schedule. Also, because I've seen way too much of Tenth Kingdom and I'm way too amused by stuff like this. Also, I'm in no way, shape, or form sorry that this is basically turning into Alice is Unnecessarily Sassy: The Fic

**_Dirty Rotten Scoundrel_**

Now Alice understood why the Rabbit told her to keep her hands and feet inside the portal at all times. This was not Wonderland. She wasn't sure where she was, but she knew Wonderland and this was not Wonderland.

The only place in Wonderland with this much sand was the Chessboard Desert. Her surroundings, while distinctly desertish, looked nothing like a chessboard. All around her, there was nothing but an ocean of tawny beige waves. At least she'd been lucky enough that the portal dumped her in the middle of an oasis.

She sat down at the edge of the water and unlaced her boots. With no way to know where she was and no way to get to her intended destination, it would be best to stay put for now. She was near water, one of the trees looked like a date palm, the trees provided enough shelter, this would be just fine until she figured out what to do next. Which was probably nothing too grand given that she had no idea which way or how far to walk to find other people.

She slipped her feet into the cool water and spotted a smooth, flat pebble within arm's reach. Alice picked it up and tossed it up in the air a few times to test the weight before idly skipping it across the water's surface. Even with the harsh sun, this wouldn't be a bad way to spend the afternoon. At least, if she wasn't trying to figure out how to get back to Wonderland in the meantime.

The last time she left, she thought she had the perfect proof. However, it turned out to be poorly thought out because as it turned out, a beachcomb wouldn't work without a beach to comb. Although she was less than eager to return it to the Gryphon, he was an awful whiner and couldn't for the life of him understand why she wanted to prove to anybody that Wonderland was real because he spent the majority of his life pretending that it's madness wasn't, she had promised to do so.

This time around, she thought she might catch a Dragonfly and bring that home with her. If it didn't burn through her bag before she could get home.

Then she heard a noise behind her and turned to look. The young man's eyes grew wide and he muttered, "Oh shit," a good deal louder than he probably meant to once he realized that she'd seen him.

He was a bit taller than she was, although not by much, and had a kind, albeit rather shocked expression. His clothes were all a dusty beige color, not dissimilar to the sand itself, and she couldn't help but notice that he had impossibly fancy hair.

"Have you been watching me this whole time?" she said, standing up and walking towards him.

"What? No. I'm just here to get this back," he said, reaching up into the branches of one of the trees and pulling down a heavy looking bag. "I'm so sorry to have disturbed you. I'll be on my way now." He started to walk off into the desert, the bag slung over his shoulder.

"Wait, where are you going?" she said, walking after him. He may be able to lead her to civilization, or just anybody who might be able to help her.

"You have no idea where you are do you?" he said, turning back around to face her.

"Absolutely none," she said.

He gave her a look, arched an eyebrow, and said, "Alright, fine. I can't just leave you out here, come with me."

"Where are we going?" she said, running to cover the distance between them.

"Agrabah," he said, the quizzical look not leaving his face. "Aren't you forgetting something?" For the first time, she realized that she was still barefoot. She darted back to get her boots, and although she half-expected him to have already left by the time she finished lacing up her boots, he was still waiting for her.

"Thank you," she said, running back to him. "For reminding me about the shoes and for helping me. I'm Alice."

"I'm Amin," he said after slight pause. "So Alice, what brings you to this fine place?"

"I'm a traveler from a far off land," she said, knowing full well that it was better not to say that she was from another dimension, "returning this," she said, opening up her bag and taking out the fine mother of pearl, aquamarine, and coral comb, "to a friend."

"Lovely as its bearer," he said. She told herself that the blood rushing to her cheeks was from the hot sun. "This land you're from, what's it like?"

"Wondrous," she said, putting the comb back into her bag. "There are fields and forests for miles around and the flowers in the spring…" She wasn't sure what it meant that the Tiger Lily's and Dandy Lions came to mind before the neighbor's roses. "Although I'm afraid I don't know much about it, I spent most of my life traveling. This, "Agrabah," can you tell me more about it?"

"It's much like any other city I'm afraid," he said, shifting the bag to his other shoulder. "Sunrise over the minarets is a sight to be seen. The Great Astrolabe isn't all that bad either. Although if you're as seasoned a traveler as you say you are, then you probably already know that."

"I certainly don't," she said.

"Well then Alice," he said, grinning at her. Almost against her will, she smiled back. There was a fluttering feeling in her chest. She hoped she wasn't coming down with something. "I suppose I shall have to show you around."

"I think I should like that very much," she replied. They walked a while before she asked, "So Amin, what are you doing out here with a bag hidden in a tree?"

"I'm something of an artist," he said. "I was working on a project with some University students in Ankara and I have some things I'd rather not risk losing."

"And so you hid them out in the desert? It doesn't seem like a very well thought out plan," she said.

"I'm the only person who knew about that place. It's off of the trade routes and I was only gone for a day," he said.

"I thought you said you were working on a project."

"Consulting on a project."

"I hope it went well."

"Good as gold."

"If it's not intrusive, might I ask what sort of project it was?"

"It's not intrusive at all. Well, you see I work in words," he said. "I told them stories, stories that they may find pleasant at times and unpleasant at others, but stories that I needed to tell nonetheless."

"What kind of stories?" She always did like a good story and it might make the walk go by quicker.

"The best kind. Or the worst. It all depends on your point of view. I like to think that they're the best kind. You may think them the worst. The story they heard was of a merchant's son who'd become separated from a caravan and in need of help on his journey home, but I have many more where that came from." From the way his eyes lit up, she could tell that Amir was passionate about what he did, excited even. She hoped that she would get to hear one.

"It sounds like a lovely story. I can't imagine they wouldn't like it."

"They liked the story. They didn't like the ending. You see, the merchant's son had really been a clever bandit the whole time. I gave them all the clues they needed to put it together before the end, but they couldn't put it together in time. I think they felt cheated."

"Well, you could tell it to me and I'll let you know if you told it well," she said, readjusting her bag. It was a bit heavier than she should have packed it, although she'd been expecting Wonderland rather than this both stranger and less strange land.

"Would you like me to carry that for you?" he asked, gesturing to the bag.

"I can handle it," Alice replied.

"I know you can, but it's easier to appreciate a story when you're not burdened," he said, shrugging and staring off at the horizon.

"I think I can live with that," she said, handing the bag over to him.

"Then let us begin the tale of Cyrus and the Caravan of Marvels," he said, a confident grin spreading across his face. "A long time ago in Agrabah…"

**_X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**

"And so, having faked his death at the hands of his accomplices, Cyrus returned home to his mother and brothers, and they say that all of them lived happily until the end of their days," he said as they reached the city gates. Alice couldn't believe that anybody hadn't liked the tale, he'd hidden everything so masterfully until the end, it was a thrill to listen.

"That was absolutely splendid," she said, tucking a strand of sun warm hair behind her ear. "You knew it so well too."

"When you spend your life telling stories, it's almost as if you live them," he said, maintaining eye contact with her as he picked his way through the crowd. "The characters are like your family and their adventures are your adventures."

"You can never have too many adventures," she said, following close behind.

"That's a good philosophy to have," he said, laughing a little. "You like danger, don't you Alice?"

"A bit," she admitted.

They reached an open square with a fountain in the center and held her bag out to her. "I said I'd show you around, and never make a promise I can't keep, but do you mind waiting here for a few minutes? I just have a little business to take care of." He gave her an apologetic look.

"Oh I'll be fine, don't worry," she said, setting her bag down on one of the benches.

"I'll be right back," he said, waving to her as he merged with the crowds.

Alice hadn't been sitting down for more than a minute before a woman, only a little older than she was, in a blue dress embroidered with green flowers got up from the fountain and came to sit by her. "You may want to check your bag," she said, adjusting one of the lapis pins holding her headscarf in place.

"What?" she said.

"It is clear from the way you're dressed that you're not from around here. That young man you were with is not as harmless as he appears," the woman said, folding her hands in her lap.

"I think you must be confusing him for someone else, Amir is a storytell…"

"That's what he told you his name was?" Her voice sounded equal parts exasperated and disbelieving. "At least he didn't lie about being a storyteller. I know he seems charming, but I've been friends with his elder brother for years. Cyrus is…"

"His name is Cyrus?" Just as it did for the students, all of the pieces came together just a bit too late. He'd told her exactly what he was doing out in the desert and she'd bought it all wrapped up as a neat little package. He wasn't working on a project with those students. He was conning them, just as Cyrus in the story did the merchant caravan. Of course they wouldn't like the ending. He'd been cheating them the whole time.

She opened the bag and found that, just as the woman cautioned her, the comb was gone. "That smug bastard!" She didn't care who heard her, didn't particularly care about her vocabulary either, this was almost unforgivable.

"If only I had a dinar for every time someone said that about him…" the woman muttered.

"I'm so sorry to be a bother, but do you happen to know where I can find him? He took something rather important and I would like to get it back," she said, closing the bag a bit more harshly than she probably meant to.

"There's a bar he likes to visit, the Crowned Eagle. If you go down that street right there…" the woman pointed to the street right across from them, "until you reach the bazaar and take a left after the third date seller you see, down the road with the well at the beginning until you reach a building with a ship on the door. Take a right down the street after that one and keep going until you see the sign, you can't miss it. Can you remember all that?"

Even if she couldn't, Alice was determined to find him, so she nodded and thanked the woman for her help before setting off to find Cyrus. It appeared that fate, or a dimension hopping rabbit, had other plans though as she spotted the Rabbit hiding behind a potted plant in the bazaar.

"Alice! I've been looking everywhere and everywhen for you!" he said as she ducked behind the plant with him.

"Everywhen?" She supposed that after over ten years of this sort of nonsense that Wonderlander's odd sayings should no longer surprise her, but she'd never heard everywhen before.

"This is why you don't mess around with the portals, you stuck a hand out or something, I told you not to, but you did, and now you've wound up not only in another dimension, but hundreds of years in the past," he said, tapping his pocket watch in a very irate manner. "Come on, we have to go before something happens."

"Already happened Rabbit. Somebody stole the Beachcomb and I have to return it to the Gryphon and you know how he gets…"

"And you're just going to hunt them down? Alice, they could be anywhere by now, not to mention the risks involved…"

"I know exactly where Cyrus is and this won't take me long at all."

"But the risk…"

"Do you really want to explain to the Gryphon that I lost the one thing that he doesn't hate about Wonderland?"

"Alright, point taken, we'll go and find your Cyrus, but if this goes badly, I'm tunneling us right out of here."

She could accept that and as the Rabbit followed her through the streets, her resolve to fix this little situation grew. She couldn't believe she'd fallen for that, but he'd been so charming and sweet.

"Alright, this looks like the right place," she said, glancing at the sign above the door. "You may want to wait out here Rabbit." The Rabbit agreed with her, nervously checking his watch again.

The bar wasn't quite as seedy as she'd been expecting. It was certainly cleaner than Underland, smelled better too. But seated at a back table, playing cards with a group of probably equally unsavory characters, was the very man she was looking for.

"You thief!" she said, striding right up to the table, glaring at him the whole way.

"I have no idea who you are or what you're talking about," he replied, not looking at her and drawing a card from the deck.

"You told the truth about one thing Cyrus, you are a story teller. You are a damn good storyteller, but you're an arrogant twit and I don't care how I get it back, but I need to get that comb back and…"

She was drawing looks from the other card players. They were evidently ether familiar with his behavior or just as clueless as she used to be. Even she knew that getting into a fight here would end badly and she didn't think that asking politely would work, but there had to be something she could do to get the Beachcomb back. Then she said, almost without thinking, "I'll play you for it."

**_X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X_**

"But how did you…you didn't even know how to play when we started…" he said, his mouth hanging open a bit more than he really meant for it to as he stared at yet another winning hand. She had to have been lying before, he'd done that often enough, he couldn't believe that he'd missed the signs.

"I told you," Alice, if that was even her real name, said, picking up the fine comb from the center of the table. "I like to win." With that, she got up and left the card table. Before she left, she turned to the other players. "And by the way, he's cheating all of you."

He could only stare at the empty door frame as she left. He never lost at cards, yet a woman who claimed no experience beat him. He'd even cheated and he still lost. She had to have done something, or gotten very lucky or…then it hit them.

The numbers. Every now and then she'd mutter a number under her breath. At the time, he'd thought it a very strange sort of tell or nervous twitch, but now he knew. She looked at the deck of cards and she just did the math.

His heart raced, yet he felt an overwhelming sense of calm. That was an incredible thing he'd just witnessed. She'd beaten him at his own game. He couldn't believe it, but when he thought about it, he started grinning like a fool. That Alice, or whoever she was, was something special. He almost didn't notice when one of the burlier card players picked him up by his shirt collar and dragged him out back.

He was still thinking about her later that night when Taj was attempting to patch him up after the men and women he'd played cards with beat him. Not that he could really blame them. He couldn't even feel mad at her for telling them about the cheating. He couldn't even be mad that the weeks of preparation that went into the Anakara scam were wasted when the aforementioned card players divided up his earnings amongst themselves. He could only think of the confident, satisfied, almost playful way she took back the comb and the sheer enthusiasm with which she'd listened to the story he told her.

"Alright, that's the worst of it," his brother said, handing him a cool cloth to hold to the swelling on his cheek. "What's happened to you is probably more punishment than anything mother can give, so I won't tell her what happened." Upon noting Cyrus' spacy expression, he added, "Are you feeling alright? I've told you a thousand times, if get hit in the head, you have to let me know if you're feeling off because it might be a concussion and…"

"Taj," he said, staring at the wall, visions of Alice still in his head. "It's not a concussion." He wished he'd been telling her stories for real rather that to scam her. "I think I'm in love."

"You definitely have a concussion."


	2. Leverage

_**Leverage**_

Never before had Alice been so grateful that the Red Queen had a remarkable track record for hiring stupid people Not once, in all her years running from her guards, had they ever thought that she would make use of Wonderland's shrinking mushrooms for an escape. So, while they debated whether she went left or right, she was busy thinking of a place to hide until this all blew over because while she doubted that they would find her, it never hurt to be cautious.

She didn't want to risk the unpleasantness that would likely occur should she go deeper into the hedges. She'd already witnessed them eating two of the less fortunate guards during her time with the Knave. Given her mission, she was less than eager to be their next victim as going home would be rather difficult. There was a better option though. Through some stroke of luck, there was an ornate bottle hidden just within the hedgerow. It was just a matter of opening it up and waiting inside for the guards to give up their search.

Once she stepped into the bottle, she immediately wished she hadn't. She almost couldn't believe what she was seeing, neglecting that inside the bottle was actually rather cozy and almost home-like. She looked down at the bit of mushroom in her hand to make sure it wasn't the kind that made you see things because this had to be a hallucination. Seated on a cushion on the other end of the bottle was a familiar young man she hoped never to see again.

"Alice?" He sounded equally disbelieving. That voice was all the conformation she needed that this was unfortunately real.

"You!" she exclaimed, taking a firmer grip on her bag and taking a step back towards the bottle entrance. Of course, he had the exact opposite reaction.

"Alice, it really is you!" His face lit up like the dawn and he practically leapt to his feet. She decided that the safety the bottle offered was not worth the annoyance Cyrus brought and turned around to leave. "I cannot believe it, of all the people to find my bottle, you clever…wait, where are you going?"

"I don't know, but neither will you," she replied, her skirts ruffling as she stepped out of the bottle.

"But you can't…you're my new…" he stammered. "Mistress mine, my will is thine, tell me your wishes three." Something sharp cut into the palm of her hand, she glanced down for a moment to see three shining rubies.

She turned back the young man in the bottle, still looking at her with a hopeful expression. She had no idea what had just happened, but if she had any knowledge of Cyrus, and she had more than she wanted, it was nothing good. She didn't want to know how he'd made three, likely stolen, jewels appear in her hand, she didn't want to know how he'd wound up in that bottle, or in Wonderland for that matter, or why he was being so friendly towards her, she just wanted to get him out of her life. For good this time. Yet it appeared that that would be easier said than done.

"Bloody hell," she muttered, walking back towards the bottle. Earlier she'd hoped Will would be right in his assessment that she wouldn't be alone for long, but not like this. Never like this. "What are these?" She held the jewels out to him.

"Your wishes. My circumstances have changed considerably since we last saw each other." He paused and his expression clouded. Something darkened in his eyes. If she didn't know it was an act, she would have felt almost sorry for him. "I've changed considerably since we last saw each other." Given their last meeting, she was fundamentally disinclined to believe anything he had to say on the matter of anything, let alone his moral standing.

"If you think I'm going to believe that, you're madder than…"

"I'm not mad. I really am a genie," he said, rolling up his sleeves to reveal two gold cuffs. "See?"

"I see you found yourself some new jewelry," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. "You couldn't just fool me once. You had to follow me through time and space to finish the job."

"I know it's difficult to believe…" He was impossible to believe. "…but I've changed. I'm a genie, you're my mistress, and those are your wishes."

"Even if you are telling the truth, I want nothing to do with you or these wishes. I don't understand why you can't just leave me alone," she said.

"Because, against all odds, you're my mistress and I can't…"

"Of all the mad things to happen to me in Wonderland, running into you again has to be the maddest," she said. "If I am your mistress, and I'm not, then I'm telling you to go and do whatever it is that you do, away from me, because I want nothing more to do with you." With that, she turned and walked away under the safe cover of the hedgerow, hopeful that this time, she was rid of him for good.

**X~*~X~*~X~*~X~*~X~*~X~*~X**

"What part of, "Go away, I want nothing to do with you," is difficult to understand?" she said, ducking under a tree branch. When she noticed somebody following her through the Tulgy Wood, she'd hoped it was one of the guards. Unfortunately, a quick glance over her shoulder proved otherwise.

"I am away from you," he said, ducking under the branch. "Alice, I don't think you understand the severity of the…"

"Five feet away from me is not away from me. Away from me is away from me," she replied, pushing a branch away from in front of her.

"You don't understand. You're my mister…" she let go of the branch and it smacked him in the face. "Wishes are complicated things and, even if you don't use them, you have to be educated about them. I've seen havoc wreaked from a man wishing for coffee and…"

"I'm sure you have. Because you're an all-powerful genie right?" she said, turning around and glaring at him again. She didn't know what kind of angle he was trying to work, but she wasn't going to fall for his genie trick. "How many people did you tell that story to? How's this one go? You're a poor, helpless genie, trapped in a bottle, and you need their help to be free and just when you get them feeling sorriest for you, you con them for everything they've got. Well, it's not working on me. Not again."

"It wasn't a story," he insisted, picking pine needles out of his hair. "What do I have to do to convince you that I've really been turned into a genie? I don't know how long it's been for you…" Not long enough. "…but I've been tethered to that bottle for over a hundred years…" She didn't understand how he expected her to believe it. She had to admit though, he was putting on a good show. If she didn't know what a conniving ass he was, she might just believe it. "…and it's hard to believe me but I really am trying to help you."

"Like you helped those students?"

"What stu…" his words were slow and confused, as if he really couldn't remember what he'd told her. "Oh Gods those…I'm so sorry, it's been a very long time, my memory's not always the be…"

"Save it for someone who doesn't know you."

"You don't know me," he said. "You met me for a few hours, eons ago…"

"A year ago." She'd seen and heard a lot of very unbelievable things in her time in Wonderland, but how he could keep pretending he was a genie when she very clearly didn't believe it was completely beyond her.

"For you. It's been longer for me. Tell me what I have to do to make you believe me and I will do it," he said. He looked almost sincere. It looked like the only way to get rid of him was to humor the madness.

"Fine. You have one minute to tell me everything you need to tell me," she said, setting down the bag and loosening the strings so that if the situation turned unpleasant, at least the Rabbit could get away.

He was still and silent for a moment, no doubt thinking of how best to spin the story in his favor, before saying, "Your wishes Alice, they are very powerful and very fickle things. They bring great misery just as often, if not more often, as great joy. There are however a few rules, I can't kill anybody, I can't bring anybody back to life, I can't change the past, and I can't make anybody fall in love. All the proof you need to know I'm telling the truth is right there in your hand. Make a wish, any wish, and it is my command."

The fact that he wanted her to make a wish was enough to dissuade her from doing so. The gems were probably cursed to make something awful happen to whoever made a wish on them. Every time he spoke he came up with something even more unbelievable. She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. It was like he wasn't even trying to lie anymore.

"Just leave me alone and go back to your bottle." As the words left her lips, a cloud of orange smoke formed around Cyrus' feet. Her eyes grew wide in shock as the cloud swirled and enveloped him. When the smoke vanished, so did Cyrus. "Oh my. Rabbit?" She looked down at the ears now sticking out of the bag. "I think he might've been telling the truth."


End file.
